Moby Whamon
by The Cold
Summary: My fic for Digidemented's 'Make me Laugh! Contest.'


Welcome to my second fic, for Digidemented's 'Make me Laugh! Contest'. Beware of  
Sora bashing, if you like her. Oh, and there acually not much about 'Moby Whamon.' Sorry,   
I ran out od ideas.  
  
Disclaimer: The only things I own in this fic are the dull pencils ad Pikachi.  
  
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It was a merry day for the Digidestined and their loyal Digimon. They where all roasting  
marshmallows that they had bummed off a passing Tyranomon. The sun shone brightly  
and there wasn't a cloud in sky.   
  
Unexpectedly, a card board box flew threw the bushes and hit Sora in the head.  
"Wow! It's a good thing I have this helmet!" she exclaimed stupidly.  
"Rats! I knew I should have burned that!" muttered Byiomon. Kari and TK jumped up.  
"I wanna open the package!" the two screamed. They glared at each other.  
"Well, why don't we open it together?"  
"OK!" said Kari excitedly. They sat down and began to rip the cardboard away. Seconds  
later TK held up 16 pieces of paper.  
"Wow! We got paper!" Matt took the papers from his sibling.  
"Hey guys! These are cruise tickets!" a cheer arose from the group.  
"We're going on a cruise! We're going on a cruise!" everyone chanted as they danced  
around in circles.   
  
"When does it leave?" asked Mimi, who wasn't quite as excited as the others. She had  
been on many cruises before. Matt looked at the tickets.  
"Three days." a gasp arose from the dancing crowd.   
"We're not going to make it!" They all screamed. After all, the ocean was a whole five  
minute walk from their current location. They knew they would get lost and end up miles  
away from their destination.  
  
"OK! Lets go!" exclaimed Tai. There was a long silence  
"Umm, Tai? I think someone else better lead if we want to get there before next  
millennium." said Joe. Tai glared at him.  
"Right! I'll lead!" exclaimed Mimi. She walked over to Tai and took his googles.  
"This way!" she yelled, as she began marching away. Everyone just stood there. Tai's  
hair flopped down in his face.   
"Rats!" he mumbled.   
  
Once knowtising no one was following her, Mimi turned around with fire in her eyes.  
"What are you waiting for?!? GET IN LINE!" she yelled. Everyone quickly filed into a  
line behind her as she marched off into the distance.  
  
Three hours later they arrived at their appointed destination. Everyone sat down on the  
ground. Well, almost everyone. Tai, now blind without his googles, had gotten lost and  
wandered off somewhere.  
  
"Izzy, where's my brother?" asked Kari, as she peeked over his shoulder. Izzy slammed  
his laptop shut.  
"He's..... umm..... well..... he's certainly not plotting how to take over Microsoft...... and  
neither am I! You believe me, don't you?" stammered Izzy nervously. Frightened, Kari  
decided to asked someone else.  
"Agumon, where's my brother?" she asked. Agumon looked up from his block tower.  
"Tai's gone? I thought it seemed a little quieter. Well, we better go look for him!"  
seconds later, they where decked out in Team Rocket uniforms.  
"We must go capture Pikachi!" exclaimed Kari.  
"What's a Pikachi?" asked Agumon. Kari shrugged. They set out into the forest with  
their new attire, determined that they'd catch Pikachi.  
  
  
  
Hours later, Kari and Agumon returned with Pikachi in a hair proof container.  
"We've done it, Agumon! We've finally captured Pikachi!"  
"Hey Kari, Agumon, what'cha got th...." Joe couldn't finish his sentience. He passed out.  
"Look Kari! It's a Phyjoe!"  
  
  
  
Days later, the group was boarding the cruise. Many other Digimon were also boarding,  
one of these Digimon being a Sukamon.  
"Please? I have ticket!" he whined.  
"I'm sorry sir, but by request of that lady in pink over there, you've been restricted from  
this ship." The fancy-dressed Demidevimon proceeded to kick Sukamon all the way to  
File Island.  
  
The Digimon sat in the one room assigned to the Digidestined.  
"I'm bored." said Palmon.  
"Me to." said Tentomon.  
"You guys, we've only been on this ship for five minutes! How can you be bored?"  
squeaked Patamon. Agumon sighed.  
"That Pikachi got away. And we thought we had him!"  
  
The Digidestined sat on deck.  
"Smell that fresh sea air!" exclaim Sora.  
"Umm Sora? That's not fresh air." said Izzy. Sora looked downwind to see an ugly  
looking Digimon farting. She turned a green colour and ran to the edge, bent over the  
railing and.... well I wont say. Seeing his chance, TK ran up and pushed her into the  
water.  
"YES! I have foiled Sora once again!" Patamon flew over with some tin foil.  
"Your foil, sir."  
"Thank you, slave. Now go get me a Mountain Dew!" Patamon screamed and flew  
away.  
"TK, how many times have I told you not to push people overboard?" scolded Matt as he  
watched the sharks come toward Sora. TK hung his head. A sailor jumped overboard  
and saved Sora, to everyone's disappointment.  
  
"I think I'm sea sick..." said Joe as he ran to the edge and puked. His glasses fell off into  
the water.  
"Hey you guys! Since we can't get Microsoft, lets take over the ship and use it to hunt  
Whamon!" said Izzy. Everyone stared at him.  
  
  
Hours later, they had tied up every single Digimon on the ship, including their own. They  
were decked out in their new bright pink sailing outfits, courtesy of Mimi.  
"Well, now that we've taken over, I declare myself Captain Big-Hair!" said Tai, who now  
had his googles back.  
"And you, Izzy, will be my first mate since your the one who had the idea!"  
"What will we be?" asked TK and Kari. Tai, err, Captain Big-Hair handed them some  
tapes and a tape player.   
"You'll supply our music. Normally, play this tape. There's an hour and a half of music  
on both sides. When were attacking the Whamon, play this music. And finally, when  
we're dancing ballet, play this music." Captain Big-Hair turned to Joe.  
"You will be on lookout."  
"But I don't have my glasses!"  
"That isn't my problem. Mimi, you'll carry the glow sticks out for our nightly games of  
tag."  
"Carry? No fair." whined Mimi.  
"Sora will be our sacrifice to the sharks so they don't eat Whamon. And since we need  
good food, Matt will be in the kitchen cooking." everyone began their assigned task. TK  
and Kari played the tapes, Mimi sat around since it wasn't dark yet, Sora threw herself  
overboard, Joe began squinting out towards the sea, Matt headed for the kitchen, and Izzy  
monitored all this for his report to Captain Big-Hair.   
  
Captain Big-Hair stood at the front of the ship.   
"I'm the king of the Digi-Word!" he yelled.  
"Umm, captain sir?" Captain Big-Hair turned around.  
"What would you like?"  
"Everyone's doing their jobs fine." there was a pause.  
"That's all?" Izzy nodded.  
"Well then go do your job, slacker!" yelled Captain Big-Hair. Izzy screamed and ran  
away. Captain Big-Hair returned to his ceaseless yelling of 'I'm the king of the Digi-  
World!'  
  
  
Joe looked out towards the sea. He had resorted to holding broken pieces of glass in front  
of his eyes. It wasn't perfect, but it worked.  
  
All was quiet. Except for the disco music TK and Kari had found. a single wave rolled  
across the sea, and a stream of water appeared. Joe took a deep breath.  
"THAR SHE.... err..... HE BLOWS!" he yelled before he passed out. All heads turned  
towards the sea.   
"Man the boats!" yelled Captain Big-Hair. TK and Kari quickly changed the tape before  
they jumped into a boat with the passed out Joe. Sadly, they had the wrong music. It was  
the ballet music. Izzy, Mimi and Captain Big-Hair jumped into another boat. The rowed  
until the were near Whamon, and began throwing dull pencils at him.  
  
"Are you throwing those at me?" Whamon proceeded to eat them all. End of story.  
  
Matt, who was far below the main deck, was the only one who lived happily ever after.   
Once the ship reached land, he opened his own fast food joint which was called  
'Mattdonalds.' Even though the food was gross, hoards of fan girls ate their everyday, just  
to see Matt.  
  
THE END 


End file.
